Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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