yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
