I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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