There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
