i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize