Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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