Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm so fucking centered right now
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
