Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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