A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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