theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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