I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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