I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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