You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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