she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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