So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
