Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
