I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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