you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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