please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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