ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
