her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
