how can u be prego again
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
