Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
