Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
