vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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