I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
