Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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