Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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