i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
