Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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