His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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