That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
