I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
