you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
