so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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