I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
