Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
