If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
