I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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