You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
