how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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