The police scanner is talking about you again....
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
