Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
