eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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