I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
