During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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