I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
