I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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