I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
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It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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