I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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