well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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