Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize