dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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