were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
only you would photoshop your dick
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
