Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
