im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I will pee on everything he values.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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