i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
