so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think a kid would responsible me up
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
