some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
