The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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