meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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