FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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