I'm so fucking centered right now
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
